What if you had it all, but nobody to call?

I’ve had everything, but no one is listening.

A couple lines from Justin Bieber’s new song “Lonely” that dropped today and it’s beautiful honest.

I’ve met and photographed a handful of famous people of different levels, Justin being one of them and it’s not world you would think it would be at the “top”

I’ve shared time with Justin a few times. I’ve photographed him 4-5 times, traveled to the jungles of Guatemala in helicopters with him for charity work, and witnessed the craziness that is his life. I myself couldn’t imaging living his life.

Everything appears glamorous from the outside, but the higher up you go, the less you can trust people.

EVERYONE has an angle. EVERYONE wants someone from you.

Imagine a world where 99% of the people you come into contact with has created a parasocial relationship with? A world that knows you, but that person has no idea who you are.

A parasocial relationship is what happens when one self discloses in the media to a point where people build a one sided relationship with that person. Now with social media, we have a broader smaller version of this happening all the time.

Adrien Grenier directed a documentary called Teenage Paparazzo, about a 13 year old kid who was a paparazzi that kept following him everywhere. Adrien ended up flipping the camera and doing a doc on this kid which was fascinating as the kid got a taste of his own medicine and learned what it felt like to be followed around all the time.

This doc shed some great insights into all sides of the paparazzi from all angles, even how a lot of celebs use them to create their fame.

One of the segments in the doc focuses on “Parasocial relationships” which I definitely think is worth watching.

Think of everyone you follow on social, you know them but you don’t actually “know” them.

Then every interaction you have everyone is one that they want something from you, even if it’s a selfie.

Fame is a funny thing. Does it excuse stupid shit? No, but on the other hand, many people do stupid shit all the time, they’re just not under a microscope, judged by everyone at a macroscopic level.

If you’re in your 30’s or older, just imagine all the stupid shit you did as a teenager. Now imagine the whole world watching your every move.

I hear about so many rich and famous, and even people who have relied on their physical beauty who on the outside seem like they have it all, but in fact inside they’re absolutely miserable, and hate themselves.

External validation of the ego can be so powerful we live our lives from it. We base our existence and happiness on everything outside of us, when the only place happiness can come from is creating wholeness from the inside.

YOU are responsible for your own happiness.

No one, no thing, no person will ever be able to ultimately make you happy.

That takes a cosmic brick to even begin that process and journey, then it takes some deep personal work to ascend through it.

I’ve been there, had my world and ego blasted apart showing me that the world outside me is fleeting.

Most of my life my validation and self-worth has come from what I was creating, who I was shooting, which big brand I was shooting for, where I was traveling, etc.

Between a relationship and my business crashing, I got hit with a cosmic brick, which pushed me into a dark night of the soul. An existential crisis within myself realizing nothing in this world could make me happy, and that everything is completely made up.

I had to find modalities like meditation, breathwork, health, fitness, etc, to get back to an integrated space of this earth plane. This human existence that we have.

It’s still a journey, a practice, and something that I now realize takes even more daily practice and creative alchemy to “BE” Getting to a space of “BEING” vs “Achieving” is where happiness is generated.

Creative Alchemy is transmuting all our negative emotions into a space of creating the vibration and results in life that we want. 80% of life is navigating those emotions and subconscious loops to even get to a space of activating on our creativity.

📷 @nickonken | #nickonken | #CreateYourMoments | #OnkensWorld | #AlwaysBeCreating