Have you ever walked through life with a fear that everyone is judging you?
That was me. And I still have hints of it in my life now. It doesn’t go away; I just now know how to deal with it.
I went through an emotional intelligence training last year, and the biggest thing I walked away with was an understanding of how I developed a fear of judgement from the way I grew up. It was the culprit of my disconnection with others because I was unable to get vulnerable with anyone. I feared that they would size me up and judge me as I talked to them and engaged in relationships.
This fear stemmed from the way my dad showed up to me when I was young. See, I grew up in a very conservative Christian home and when I would want to have a conversation about something that was “right” in the realm of the Christian world, I would get positive affirmations. When I wanted to have conversations or do something that was NOT “right” in the eyes of the church, my dad would get quiet and “process” things, which I not-knowingly walked away from those situations feeling like I was being judged for right or wrong. It wasn’t really the case, but as a kid, that was my interpretation.
From there, I walked into every relationship, friendship or interaction with a fear that the other person was judging me. This led to a lack of vulnerability in my life and relationships, which caused them to suffer. It’s something that troubled me throughout the years, creating a huge disconnect that I couldn’t put my finger on for a while.
It’s easy to lay blame to my father for this, but what I learned through the training is that how I interpret the way someone shows up may not be their intention. They’re doing what they were taught. Only I can choose what to do with it from there.
This fear of judgement turned into me subconsciously judging others, which really means judging myself. Comparing myself to others is a fast track to internal discontent. On the other hand, it’s also been a small catalyst to constantly become better in my craft.
Knowing where your fears come from is a huge way of being able to get over them, or at least not let them rule your life.
When have you judged others? What does that say about how you may be judging yourself?
LET'S CONSPIRE & CREATE
CULTIVATING YOUR VISUAL UNIQUENESS AND STREAMLINING YOUR BRAND'S EVOLUTION
Have you ever walked through life with a fear that everyone is judging you?
That was me. And I still have hints of it in my life now. It doesn’t go away; I just now know how to deal with it.
I went through an emotional intelligence training last year, and the biggest thing I walked away with was an understanding of how I developed a fear of judgement from the way I grew up. It was the culprit of my disconnection with others because I was unable to get vulnerable with anyone. I feared that they would size me up and judge me as I talked to them and engaged in relationships.
This fear stemmed from the way my dad showed up to me when I was young. See, I grew up in a very conservative Christian home and when I would want to have a conversation about something that was “right” in the realm of the Christian world, I would get positive affirmations. When I wanted to have conversations or do something that was NOT “right” in the eyes of the church, my dad would get quiet and “process” things, which I not-knowingly walked away from those situations feeling like I was being judged for right or wrong. It wasn’t really the case, but as a kid, that was my interpretation.
From there, I walked into every relationship, friendship or interaction with a fear that the other person was judging me. This led to a lack of vulnerability in my life and relationships, which caused them to suffer. It’s something that troubled me throughout the years, creating a huge disconnect that I couldn’t put my finger on for a while.
It’s easy to lay blame to my father for this, but what I learned through the training is that how I interpret the way someone shows up may not be their intention. They’re doing what they were taught. Only I can choose what to do with it from there.
This fear of judgement turned into me subconsciously judging others, which really means judging myself. Comparing myself to others is a fast track to internal discontent. On the other hand, it’s also been a small catalyst to constantly become better in my craft.
Knowing where your fears come from is a huge way of being able to get over them, or at least not let them rule your life.
When have you judged others? What does that say about how you may be judging yourself?
3/17/14
Get Over the Fear of Judgement
infuse your vision with a fresh breath of creativity and vitality
BOOK A BRAND PHOTOSHOOT
GET THE DETAILS
GET THE DETAILS
infuse your vision with a fresh breath of creativity and vitality
PODCAST
BRAND INTELLIGENCE
CREATIVE INTELLIGENCE
LIFE INTELLIGENCE
masterfully aligning perception and reality through personal branding
masterfully aligning perception and reality through personal branding
Have you ever walked through life with a fear that everyone is judging you?
That was me. And I still have hints of it in my life now. It doesn’t go away; I just now know how to deal with it.
I went through an emotional intelligence training last year, and the biggest thing I walked away with was an understanding of how I developed a fear of judgement from the way I grew up. It was the culprit of my disconnection with others because I was unable to get vulnerable with anyone. I feared that they would size me up and judge me as I talked to them and engaged in relationships.
This fear stemmed from the way my dad showed up to me when I was young. See, I grew up in a very conservative Christian home and when I would want to have a conversation about something that was “right” in the realm of the Christian world, I would get positive affirmations. When I wanted to have conversations or do something that was NOT “right” in the eyes of the church, my dad would get quiet and “process” things, which I not-knowingly walked away from those situations feeling like I was being judged for right or wrong. It wasn’t really the case, but as a kid, that was my interpretation.
From there, I walked into every relationship, friendship or interaction with a fear that the other person was judging me. This led to a lack of vulnerability in my life and relationships, which caused them to suffer. It’s something that troubled me throughout the years, creating a huge disconnect that I couldn’t put my finger on for a while.
It’s easy to lay blame to my father for this, but what I learned through the training is that how I interpret the way someone shows up may not be their intention. They’re doing what they were taught. Only I can choose what to do with it from there.
This fear of judgement turned into me subconsciously judging others, which really means judging myself. Comparing myself to others is a fast track to internal discontent. On the other hand, it’s also been a small catalyst to constantly become better in my craft.
Knowing where your fears come from is a huge way of being able to get over them, or at least not let them rule your life.
When have you judged others? What does that say about how you may be judging yourself?
3/17/14
Get Over the Fear of Judgement
When you need a trusted creative partner in the room.
Take the Fit Check
Be seen at the level you’re stepping into.
Hey! I'm Nick.
PHOTOGRAPHER
BRAND ALCHEMIST
TEACHER
At vero eos et accusamus et iusto odio dignissimos ducimus qui blanditiis praesentium voluptatum deleniti atque corrupti quos dolores et quas molestias excepturi sint occaecati cupiditate non provident, similique sunt in culpa qui officia deserunt mollitia.
Build authority from the inside out.
Emanate is a creative-direction-led photography experience for entrepreneurs, speakers, and thought leaders in a moment of expansion. This isn’t about better photos. It’s about aligning how you’re seen with who you’ve become. For seasons of rebrand, visibility, and next-level leadership.
Magnetic Authority is a self-guided container for people who feel visible, but not fully anchored.
If your message keeps shifting, your brand feels inconsistent, or your presence doesn’t match your capability yet. This is where you build the foundation before you scale.
Take the Fit Check
Start Here
For founders, creatives, and leaders who want a trusted long-term partner. This isn’t coaching or traditional consulting.
It’s an ongoing creative partnership focused on bringing your personal brand identity to life.
Your brand. Your website. Your visuals.
All shaped as a direct extension of who you are. The work also includes a bespoke process of identifying and aligning the right experts when needed, so nothing gets built out of sync with your core.
Explore the Partnership
Quiet. Precise. Highly Selective.
read the latest
Most brand photographers take good photos of you. Few capture who you actually are. Here is what to look for when hiring a brand photographer so your images match your authority.
Taste is less a gift than a discipline you build through thousands of reps of seeing. Here is what twenty-five years behind a camera taught me about the art of seeing.
Visual Frequency of Authority is the energetic signature your images transmit before anyone reads a word. What it means and why two people with the same credentials read so differently.
Every personal brand stalls in one of three gaps: Identity, Signal, or Infrastructure. Most people have the third and spend years fixing the first.
A month of kung fu training in Wudang, China taught me that the body learns at the speed of honesty rather than the speed of ambition. Here is what martial arts taught me about practice.
Creative coherence is when who you are and how you’re seen are the same thing. A short, clear definition of the term, its four layers, and why it makes a brand magnetic.
A magnetic through-line is the one or two word idea your whole brand becomes associated with. What it is, why it matters, and how to find yours.
Creative coherence is the state where who you are and how you’re seen are the same thing. Why it matters more than frequency, and how to build it.
Identity Alchemy runs in five phases: Deconstruct, Curate, Architect, Become, Express. A walkthrough of what happens inside each, and where people get stuck.
Identity Alchemy is a five-phase method for rebuilding who you are and how you’re seen so the two finally match. Here is the full process.
A Brand Brain is one authored source that holds your identity, voice, and frameworks so every AI tool writes like you. Here is what it is and why you need one.
Being great at what you do doesn’t automatically turn into income. Here is the expertise-to-income gap, why it exists, and how to start closing it.
A real brand team runs $30,000 to $70,000 a year. Here is the full breakdown of what each role costs, and the engine I built to replace it for $997.
About the Blogger
I was born in a low middle class conservative religious family in the suburbs of Seattle. Art was and always has been my passion, and more than that a way of life. Starting as a graphic designer, I taught myself photography, built a commercial/editorial business shooting for the worlds biggest brands like Nike, Coca-Cola, Adidas and more. I've also had the opportunity to photograph the world's biggest celebrities like Justin Bieber, Usher, Jessica Alba and more. I've curated a lifestyle around creativity and have learned a lot along the way which I get to share here.
I was born in a low middle class conservative religious family in the suburbs of Seattle. Art was and always has been my passion, and more than that a way of life. Starting as a graphic designer, I taught myself photography, built a commercial/editorial business shooting for the worlds biggest brands like Nike, Coca-Cola, Adidas and more. I've also had the opportunity to photograph the world's biggest celebrities like Justin Bieber, Usher, Jessica Alba and more. I've curated a lifestyle around creativity and have learned a lot along the way which I get to share here.
